Humbled By The Gas Lord

Going out to get gas the other night (it was cheap) I found myself humbled by the gas-lord's. Gas has been wavering at the 93-98 cent mark for the last six months or so....that's Canadian folks, so that's per litre. During a freak period of about a week the price shot up to $1.35 / litre....do the math folks...for men it's easy. Ever wonder how to convert? Check a Urinal next time your...well you know. 1 Gal = 3.8 L ...that's about $4.30 U.S.....but it came back down. Then the other day, the heaven's parted. A sign from above....there is grace and reprive....the price dropped....steadilly into the 80's...usually not a place you want to find yourself what with the scrunchies and all....though the movies were fab....and then when we thought we'd reach the glass bottom....remember, we're going down folks....it dropped to 77 cents! I swear I heard Handel...but then I realised I was hearing Handel, and it was on the Steve Brown Etc. archive I was listening to. This called for celebration! This called for wine, cigars, confetti, hugs and kisses all around! This also called for a trip to the gas station. My wife, no word of a lie (at least not mine...she's the one who told me, I'm just repeating) saw a guy filling jerry-can after jerry-can, putting them in his car, passing the $500 dollar mark (redundant to write both '$' and 'dollar' dontcha think?). It was anarchy! Well, not really...though there was a wait for the pump. Which brings me full circle to my original point. As I was pulling in to position, I remarked to my sister-in-law, who was with me, that the car in front was pulling in, seemingly unaware that their tank was on the opposite side. I enjoyed an out-loucd chuckle. Not a full on laugh mind you, but a full-chested chuckle. The kind you get when you've seen a great movie many many times, and you know it's coming, so the laughter has built up much before the joke, so that when you release it, it takes several good hearty laughs to release. That kind. As I parked my car, the fool in front realised her mistake (yes, it was a woman driver, but I make no joke because I thought it was a guy) and turned around. My sister-in-law Heather, blunt she can be, told me that wasn't nice. Deep down I knew she was right, but it was funny. I dont' know why I found it so, but it was. So I get out, approach the pump, and with pleasure press the button for 77.3 cents a litre ($2.93.74 hosers...or $2.52.93 yanks) and begin to pump. At least that's what I imagined. Selecting my fuel grade came no problem....where the problem came was when I tried to perform the petroleum exchange. I had parked 3 inches too far away! What shame! What horror! What...karma? I don't believe in it, but I do believe that God can humble us and put us in our places sometimes. Was this a moral lesson? No....I think it's just God's sense of humour. And I'm sure as I approached that pump, he felt the laughter building up. Like a movie he'd seen many many times, and knew it was coming, he saw me approach the pump, laugh at the girl, park the car, get warned by Heather, only to get out, and in slow motion, make a fool of myself. And then he burst out laughing, gave Gabriel and Michael an elbow to the gut while they watch and eat Lay's and Dr Pepper. I figure he got out about four or five good chest laughs before the laugh-track faded, and we went to commercial for a word from our sponsor